Signs
by Claudita
Summary: Naruto just can't read the signs. NaruSaku oneshot


**Ok, here is my new NaruSaku story, before you ask, yes, this has an**_** actual**_** interaction between them. This is also my first attempt at humor, so please leave a review telling me if it turned out well! And no, this is not an attempt to make you review. Ok, maybe it is, but anyways, I hope you guys like it! **

SIGNS

Uzumaki Naruto was currently pinned down on his bed by a very feisty-looking pink haired kunoichi.

"S-Sakura-chan?" he did not like that look one bit. "What are you doing?"

She smirked, as she sat on top of him "Something I should've done a long time ago, Uzumaki."

"W-What do you mean?" he said with a trembling voice. Only two things could get Naruto this nervous. A closed Ichiraku's stand and an angry Haruno Sakura.

"Are you stupid?" she said, her voice dangerously low.

Oh, no. He knew that tone. This was definitely not good. Think. Did he leave his underwear on the bathroom again? No, he checked this time, the pain of the bruise on his shoulder still fresh to remind him of it. He was pretty sure he hadn't left any cups of instant ramen in the room like last time. And he checked the carpet to make sure he had cleaned up all traces of mud when he got home. What the hell did he do to make her so angry?

"Answer me, Naruto. Are you stupid, or do you just _like_ to torture me, huh?" her voice was now even lower and even more dangerous, if possible.

"Sakura-chan I-"

"Don't Sakura-chan me, you baka! Do you have any idea how much _time _and _energy_ I have spent giving you signs? Signs so _obvious _even a mentally challenged person would get! And you, the student of Konoha's greatest pervert are so _stupid_ that you cannot decipher even one of them!"

"Sakura-chan! What did I do?" he said, growing more nervous by the second while she didn't seem to listen and continued her angry rambling.

"I took long, hot showers _all the time_. _Steamy,_ _hot_ showers Naruto! I even used the term _dirty little boy _when you came that one night after a mission and practically shoved you into the bathroom while wearing nothing but a towel! And what did you do? What did you do?! You slammed the door to my face and went to shower alone!"

Naruto stared at her stupidly "Is this because I slammed the door on your face, then? I had no idea you would be so-"

"Don't interrupt me! I'm not finished yet, Uzumaki!" she looked even more feisty than before "After that, I realized I had to make my signs more obvious. So, the next time you came and stayed the night I told you, with my _sexiest_ voice, I may add, that you didn't have to sleep on the couch. After repeating the sentence about five times, you seemed to get the message. But did you, Naruto? Oh no. Do I need to remind you what you did after that? You lay on the bed with me, hugged me and then _immediately started snoring_!"

Naruto tilted his head. He really didn't understand women. Especially when it came to Sakura's mood swings. "So… you're mad because I snore?"

This comment, needless to say, made the kunoichi's temper rise like hot air.

"No!" she sighed, trying to remain calm. "No. Let me finish. Since none of my previous tactics worked, I realized I had to make myself much more explicit. So, yesterday I bought myself a skimpy little outfit to try some luck tonight. And when I did a sexy pose and practically _threw_ myself at you in this _extremely small _camisole, what did you do?"

"I… said you looked really cute."

"Cute! Not sexy, not hot, not even beautiful, but _cute!_ Do you see now why I am so pissed off?"

"Um...no…" he said, even more confused than he was before.

"You're like a child, goddammnit!" she let out an exasperated groan "To think I even stoop so low as to ask Jiraiya-sama and Kakashi-sensei for advice…" she muttered darkly.

"Huh? What was that, Sakura-chan?"

She sweatdropped, "Nothing, Naruto." she sighed. "So, you really don't understand?" he shook his head innocently. "Then I guess I'm gonna have to spell it out for you." she said in a determined tone, hands on her hips.

"I-I'm sorry Sakura-chan, but I don't follow-" he stopped as he saw her expression change. She didn't look angry anymore, but she had an expression he couldn't quite decipher.

"You are not escaping my grasp, Uzumaki, not tonight" she said; as she took off her skimpy camisole and lay down to kiss him.


End file.
